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In the depths of my soul a box with a lock, its key unknown. This box is not just any container—it's a repository for my darkest emotions, a place where sadness, anger, and grief are banished, never to resurface. With the recent loss of my mum, the weight of grief threatens to overwhelm me, yet … Continue reading The Locked Box in the darkest part of my mind →

Sorry I been away for so long. Things have not been easy. Been trying to keep myself busy with Work full time, Uni part time and dialysis 3 times a week. So this last few months my 3rd fistula in the development stage failed. My vein blocked up and because there was no blood flow … Continue reading Recent Feeling →

Well I don’t know what to call you. I could call you “Chronic Kidney Disease, CKD, Renal Disease” but that’s just your first name. I’m still trying to find out what your last name is and how many middle names you have. My kidneys weren’t enough for you, so you’ve taken up residence in other … Continue reading LETTER TO MY ILLNESS →

If anyone has been in hospital, they would know the morning routine for the wards. But this morning was different. I was woken up at 6am by my consultant, who then asked me to read and sign a waiver. This waiver was to allow them to insert a jugular line into my chest so they … Continue reading Time For Dialysis →

It’s September 28th and I wake with severe chest pains. Dazed and confused I start to panic not knowing whats happening. My chest starts to tighten and body starts to shake as I breath heavier. A million thoughts are racing through my mind. Am I having a panic attack or am I at the beginning … Continue reading The Failure →

Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton